Monday, July 18, 2011

How does this sex scene sound?

No problem with this at all and I don't know where the grammar mistakes are if there are any. The only thing I would say is that you use the word 'walls' to often so try another word such as defences or inhibitions. I like it because it flowed well and described feelings well and was not pornographic. I did think that 'Night' was a peculiar name though. Good luck with your story.

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